March 17, 2019 - Inscriptions From The Heart

God waiting on us

I remember a time in my life when I wanted to take matters into my own hands and walk completely against the plan that God had for me at that moment of my life. I initially came to Edmonton right after I finished university in Ontario. I was an enthusiastic graduate who wanted to achieve everything in the world. I wasted no time whatsoever and traveled to Edmonton immediately after I graduated. Long story short I ended up getting into a work place where I did not even expect to see myself at. I convinced myself that it was only a matter of time till my biggest breakthrough. It was a year and I was still waiting for my breakthrough. I got tired. Then I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I remember praying an audacious prayer then saying, “God I am planning to move out of Edmonton. I know if I ask You, you would say no. So I am not even going to ask You. I’m just going to go and get what I want out of this life.” And so my journey of fixing myself began. I moved to America for a while to enjoy family time but also explore my opportunities. A few potentials opened up but they demanded time and I did not have time to wait on something that seemed uncertain. My vacation time was up and I came back to Canada but this time I went back to Ontario as that was the place I finished my university from. I went to stay with my cousins in Mississauga and was searching for jobs in Toronto. I set goals for myself that I would try my best to land a job in a few days. Days turned to weeks and irritatingly, weeks to months. People were taking a lot of time to get back to me and some did not even get back to me. To my heart of hearts I knew I shouldn’t have moved out but I was very stubborn to accept this. In fact I questioned and asked myself “What am I doing wrong?” when I clearly knew what the answer was. And one fine day I finally came to my knees and had my moment of battle with the Lord. I thought I would not hear Him answer me as I felt He had nothing to do with me because I walked away from Him completely turning my back on Him. But guess what, in spite of my arrogance, my pride and my ignorance he guided me back again to Edmonton where he had a job waiting for me which He had planned for me.

What I would be eternally grateful for is the fact that God was so patient with me that he answered me even after I turned my back on Him. If He wanted He could’ve left me hanging on a thread and be like, “You got yourself into this mess now, get yourself out”. He did not give up on me. I was reminded of Psalm 18:6, “In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried to my God for help; He heard my voice out of His temple, and my cry for help before Him came into His ears.”

Sometimes we make a big deal about waiting on the Lord and tend to get frustrated with His ways. Can I encourage you today to shift your focus on how He waits on us to return to Him rather than how we wait on Him to answer things for us.

-Doug Bennyson